Dream big, this is your life, own your power.
First you need to claim your power back. You are too much into being you, the way you have always be, the way that is no longer making you happy.
If you want to reach your next level, first you need to step out of your comfort zone.
Back in 2014 I had the idea to start an online business for multiple reasons. First of all, a personal one, to have flexibility in my work hours and second of all, because I had this business idea and I wanted to pursue it, it was bigger than me. I spent a whole year working on a logo (whhyyyyy????) until my computer broke.
I wasted another year thinking: how is it going to work? I taught myself website creation. It was a wedding planner website. I love planning and budgeting, I love websites, I love weddings.
I’m grateful I found Business Jump and helped me create find something aligned with me and my purpose, they helped me create the first version of this website, they taught me all about an online business and started this new chapter in my life.
Starting a businessreminded me: It’s all mindset
I needed a mindset shift, my current mindset gave me my current life, but I wanted to do something different I wanted to be my own boss.
Mindset takes time
Let’s start from the beginning
I always believed in the power of the mind. My grandfather introduced me to that fact that we only use 10% of our brains. Competitive as I am, I said I’m going to use at least 80% of it! But I started wondering where the other 90% was and what powers I would have it I used it all.
I think I was 6 but I don’t really remember, I could’ve been 10. He left this world when I was 13 but he is still a massive influence in my life. He announced his dead on my 13th birthday, reason my subconscious mind registered a fear of the number 13, a fear I have recently overcome. I couldn’t do anything if I saw the number 13, hang up a 13 minute long phone call, go out at 13:00, rent the apartment 13, sit in the allocated seat 13 in the movie theatre, even if it was allocated to me. Once I offered a choc top (and revealed myself as a crazy person) in the movies just to swap sits with someone. I think they were more scared of me than they wanted the choc top!
My grandfather introduced me to all this world of woo woo. I still have the The Silva Mind Control Method book he gave me, with a young picture of me in it that I used as a bookmark.
PS: Papapa, you may already know this, we actually use 100% of our brains, 90% are made up of subconscious programming and nope, I can’t move inanimate objects as I initially thought if I use 100% of my brain, or bring the TV remote control closer to me as I once intended and you laugh, but in 2020 I can turn on the tv by saying “Ok google, turn the tv on”, well, theoretically, if I ever set up that thing correctly. But my voice turns on the radio, now called Spotify, and Siri or Google whoever is closer, can make calls for me or take notes. You know I always wanted to do this! I feel accomplished.
When I got older I started reading Deepak Chopra and Wayne Dyer books, I was a recurrent visitor of the “self-help” aisle in the bookstore. Years went past and I was well into meditation and tarot readings, feng shui, energetic healing, rituals and crystals.
I was only 26 and I had a flourishing career in finance, a good position in the coporate ladder. I achieved great things, academic and career wise. However, I struggled with my personal life, I guess something got to give and I didn’t know balance back then.
My relationships were not productive, not only the romantic ones.
My interactions with family and other people were bad. I know now that was due to a misalignment between my goals and my actions.
My words were creating my reality
In the romance department, I had the fear of being hurt and was going from a destructive relationships to another, really destroying any opportunity of a long term commitment. I was all over the shop.
One day I realised that I needed help.
Finding a therapist
Sometimes the first person you go to is not the person who will help you. Finding a good therapist is so important:
- you need to get along with him/her,
- feel comfortable and
- trust she/he can help you.
The first therapist I saw was by recommendation. He taught me relaxation techniques. Thinking that my emotional problems were due to stress and maybe they were. But going straight to relaxation techniques was like putting a bandage on a broken bone. I needed deeper healing.
Don’t ask me to light candles and relax when I’m about to burst into flames myself.
We were not the right fit.
This applies to everything in your life, a job, a person you hire, a romantic partner. Neither off you are good or bad, just not the right fit.
I found my next therapist on an online directory. She was fantastic and together we worked on the underlying issues that were causing the problem. She made me aware of the language I was using to and how it influence my behaviour, made me realised that my actions, my words and my goals were not aligned.
I needed to be congruent, align my actions, my words and my thoughts.
Someone I love said that therapy is for the weak, that I don’t needed it and my therapist was only pocketing my money and not healing me.
Why did I listen? Again this person may have had bad experiences with therapists but again, is about finding the right fit. Needing a therapist doesn’t mean you are broken, you are not broken, you don’t need fixing, you are not weak you are perfect as you are, you just need someone to help organise the knots in your head.
The best athletes need a coach, why the best human being won’t need a coach?
I left therapy, I wasn’t completely healed but I was in a better place.
I underwent knee surgery and had to do rehabilitation to learn to walk again after several months of pain and not being able to walk properly.
I had to go to a place that was getting renovated and the noise was unbearable. The only way I found to block the noise was meditating. I started very slowly, focusing on the imaginary dot between my eyes, focusing all my attention in that dot, letting all my thoughts pass by until I couldn’t hear any more outside or inside noise.
I remember one time one of the nurses apologised for the noise, “how annoying it was” and how other patients were complaining as well. I said, what noise? It took me few weeks to get to that level, but I practiced, and practiced and practiced.
The Secret (Film) and its influence in my life
At the time, the movie The Secret came out. I bought the book and then watched the movie. I tried all the tricks of the book and movie.
It made me realised that you craft your own reality. I started doing vision boards.
I started manifesting, I started getting the same spot in the carpark all the time, getting a spot on a busy carpark, getting checks in the mail. It was pretty cool!
My mum recently mentioned that she remembers all the things I said I wanted for my life and that is how live my life today.
I joined a meditation class, learned to read tarot, learned a bit about healing power of crystals, discovered The Passion Test. I’m now a consultant so I can help other woman discover their passion and purpose. I’m so excited for this! Because it is an eye opening exercise that helps you discover your top passions. It has given me crystal clear on the direction of my life and what to focus on, it comes very handy in decision making time.
Thanks to therapy and all the above. I was enjoying mutually nurturing relationship with my family, friends and colleagues, I broke my destructive patterns in romantic relationships and found an awesome partner, I got the money to come to Australia and study an MBA that will further my career as an accountant and financial analyst.
I was at a good level
But I stopped.
I went all the way down to rock bottom.
I surrounded myself with people that called all these practices crap.
I let them convince me these practices don’t work, and the worst part was: I listened to them!
I gave them the power to convince me that it doesn’t exist, that doesn’t work, and they ridiculed me for believing on it.
I was ashamed, felt stupid and stop all my practices.
I left my morning meditation for prosperity, my gratitude practice, journalling, my crystals, my tarot. Because “all are product of fantasy”, “You are so third world country thinking these things work”, “All this law of attraction is just marketing b/s taking people’s money”
Depression, Anxiety, Panic Attacks
After 3 years, I ended up depressed, with anxiety and having panic attacks. Not able to enjoy life. The worst part is that I couldn’t see the way out. I was losing hope. I was so deep in a rut, no seeing the way out of it, in a dead end job.
I think I seriously lived the same day over and over again.
Self-confidence and self-love were out the window. I was so vulnerable that I was subject of work bullying.
I’m glad I went to my GP because of my constant headaches and low energy. She recommended me to see a therapist. The bullying incident was the trigger.
Claiming my power back
With the help of a life coach who thought me mindfulness techniques I learned to manage the panic attacks and anxiety. I found a good job that helped me move forward with my career, with nicer people. I stop seeing the people who were putting me down and surrounded myself with more like minded ones. Still no meditation, gratitude or woo woo practices but mindfulness. I started building my toolkit and gaining confidence in myself.
Fast forward to August 2017, I opened an email. One of the ones of my old mentors that I didn’t unsubscribed from.
I’m glad I did. Thanks to that email I re discovered the power of the mind and all the practices I forgot about.
I was sceptical but since some of the methods started to work for me again, I decided to give it a go.
I realised that believing that all those practices don’t work, was acting as self-fulling prophecy, nothing worked and attracted all the misery I was in.
Those are beliefs too, but beliefs that were not serving me.
I completely disregarded my inner voice and trusted everyone else but myself. I put on at least 10 kg trying to shut up that inner voice with rubbish food, hello emotional eating!
I re discovered the Passion Test, mindset work, gratitude and how limiting beliefs work. I remembered all the techniques that worked, how it worked, and built from there.
It is NOT psychobabble
I actually found the bridge between our brain wiring, neurological science and all the woo stuff.
Like for example I don’t believe of the power of rituals as for the ritual itself but because in the ritual you set the intention, you truly believe that is going to work, that is why you go to the effort of doing the ritual and you have no doubts that what the results you are after are going to materialise. If for some reason it doesn’t work (or fast enough) you repeat the ritual until what you ask for becomes real. You don’t lose focus, commitment or faith.
The law of attraction respond to the Reticular Activation System or RAS.
If I say to you, think of the colour blue and you start thinking on the colour blue, you look around and all the things that are blue will stand out. So when you put a thought, a goal, you’ll be automatically attracted to follow the lead or initiative that will get you closer to your goal. Your brain does the work. The same applies to tarot or oracle cards, you vibrational energy will attract you to the things that can deliver you the message you are after, the same way I took to random bottles of nail polish in the nail salon and they deliver the answer I was looking for.
Wellfulness is the combination of the words wellness and mindfulness. Wellness trough mindfulness and it was how I define happiness.
The word “happy” gave me anxiety (not anymore) and the song “Happy” by Pharrel used to trigger me. I have come a long way from there.
Defining Happiness as Wellfulness marks the turning point in my life when I discovered mindfulness and start recovering after touching rock bottom.
Wellfulness now offer a team of therapists that are aligned with my energy and ready to help you find what you are looking in your life.
Because it all starts in your mind. What you hear, your subconscious programming, what you choose to belief.
I’ve seen so many women struggling with mindset and limiting beliefs resulting in anxiety, not progressing in their relationships, career or businesses. I can see that are the stories they are telling themselves what is holding them back and we can find what it is by just having a chat. Find a great alternative therapist in our directory and start changing the narrative.
I’ve been there and I want to share my experience and help them build their own mindset toolkit.
My mindset toolkit contains:
- Audio: music , meditation, hypnosis (personalised and general audios)
- Diffrent Techniques I’ve learnt (EFT, affirmations, journalling, etc)
- Links to book a sessions with therapists
I read somewhere that once you reach certain level, you need to share it, you can’t just keep it for you any longer, otherwise it is useless unless you out of service of others. This is my intention with Welfulness, share with you everything that works for me, from when I started to where I am at now. It’s a constant evolution.
Self-Care is instrumental. Mindset shifts takes time, patience and work. It is a way to show kindness and reward yourself. Boost your confidence.
Self Care comes in many shapes and forms.
First of all, give yourself permission to eliminate the clutter from your life. Both emotional and physical clutter, free yourself from baggage, forgive, let go and move forward. Set healthy boundaries
Create a work and home environment that nourishes you and keep it that way. I love Marie Kondo’s approach of everything has a place, be grateful, throw away things that don’t bring you joy. Another Marie Kondo teaching that I like is to not declutter for anyone else but yourself. Don’t complain that your husband is the hoarder (or flatmate, or family member). Just start tidying up your own stuff, they will follow.
Same way you don’t fix anyone else’s life but yours, they will start changing too.
Taking care of your finances is another way of self-care, and please do not compare yourself with anyone else. Everyone is living its own experience.
So this self-care, Is it just one weekend off a year or booking a massage on your birthday? No, it’s an every day practice or at least once a week.
Do you feel self are is selfish? That you don’t deserve it? A weekend off is just enough?
- Set up a self -care routine. List your options.
- Allocate a budget to it, either a massage, cleansing bath or nourishing face creams, a session with a therapist.
- Schedule time just for you.
- Grant yourself permission to walk away from people that puts you down, that you feel like you need to play down your achievements in order for them to be happy and not making them feel bad
Own your light, you deserve to be who you are.
Mindset & Self Care Facebook group.
Surround yourself with smart, self-aware people interested in two ways relationships were both parties feel inspired and growth. Where we can learn from each other and lift each other up.
This is why I’m committed to growing a community of likeminded women, Mindset & Self Care for the Superachiever Woman in Business.
Not long ago, Harvard released a study on happiness showing that the secret of happiness is relationships. Positive and nurturing relationships. The human brain thrives in positive environments as well. In positive environments, you feel creative, you find solutions to problems, you are focused.
My goal in the Facebook group is to create a community with a positive environment, which encourages participants to share what is helping for them, their concerns, tips and techniques to help each other grow our souls and reach our goals.
Let me share with you my roadmap to success, to make everything you ever dreamt of become a reality. It’s easier than you think.